Archive for July 16, 2009

thoughts on being a single mum..

When I was little and I painted a picture in my head of what my life would be like it always included a pretty little house with a husband and kids…..
My house is hardly pretty but at least it is mine (well ok the bank owns a chunk too), the kids are there (although I pictured them better behaved lol)…the husband…well if the one I had was the only option then best to do without anyway…

there are ups and downs of the whole single mum thing.
I get to set the rules and what I say goes…..
…..but if I’m tired sometimes it is difficult to always follow through
I don’t need to consult anyone else about major purchases or decisions….
….but I have no one to discuss them with to help me decide.
I get every second weekend off, I can sleep in, I can go out, I am FREE….
….but every second Christmas they go to Dads…

I know that their Dad loves them and it is ‘fair’ that they spend every second Christmas with their Dad. And I have no problems when they spend Easter at Daddy’s but Christmas is harder.

Why does this hit now? Cause I had to discuss with the ex when he was having them so I could make plans. So he will take them on Xmas eve which is a Thursday this year in the evening and bring them back Sunday night…it’s only 3 sleeps….I could go somewhere….I could stay home…it isn’t like I have no where to go or no friends to go to…but I don’t want to be a downer on anyone’s Christmas either… I thought about doing Christmas for them here on Christmas Eve but then they would go to Daddy’s that evening and either take their toys or leave them neither option is ideal….So I think we will have ‘our’ Christmas when they get back from Daddy’s. Maybe one day it’ll be easier….everyone has a Christmas without their kids eventually as they grow up and get involved with other people right?

but really if every 2nd Christmas is the worst thing about being a single mum then surely its only one day in 730! So I’m gunna do my best to learn to enjoy a Child Free Christmas, one with no fights over new toys and no constant stream of chat about the intricate details of the game from one boy who has no filter to detect boredom in his audience, one where I don’t have to help 3 little boys to get food before I eat mine. Surely a Christmas without the responsibility of children can be enjoyed (in the knowledge that I can then do it all again a few days later with the kids)…the best of both worlds right?

July 16, 2009 at 9:41 pm 3 comments

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July 2009