Time flies when you’re having fun

Life is insanely hectic…

I have 3 kids going to scout group camp on the weekend (Corey will be invested as a Joey on Saturday at camp) and I’ve agreed to go and help in the kitchen…yes clearly I’m insane (especially as it was meant to be my kid free weekend).

So before camp I have to organise 3 costumes with the theme ‘wildlife’ for the dress up evening.  Owen wants to be a penguin – not too hard will sew a white front onto his old harry potter robes, pull the bottom in a bit and add flippers.  Corey wants to be  a bat – have sewn black fabric onto a black (ok navy really) windcheater along the side seam and up the arms, in the morning I’ll trim them into batlike shaped wings (or so they will look when he holds his arms out).  And Brett – not to be difficult or anything wants to be a turtle – but insists that the shell has to be big enough for him to fit in!  Well I cut up an old laundry basket (the big tall kind) and covered it in some old white curtain lining I found in the sewing box and added a tail….cut out some arm holes. Tomorrow I need to add some shoulder straps to hold it on and paint it (while I’m waiting for chrisco to be delivered)…… at least I’ve managed it (or will by the time I’m done) without spending any money!

Meanwhile I have exams starting on the 28th November which is alarming.  I am behind by at least 2 weeks with both my stats unit and my psych unit and simply not confident that I can pull off good grades this time around….please do what you do – say a prayer – send out a vibe or something….something that keeps me motivated and clear headed so I can concentrate on the study I need to do to get through the next couple of weeks!

and then there is that man in my life….yes he is still there…my boys met his boy (who is a month older than Owen) and they all want to see each other almost as much as I want to see him and vice versa!  It feels good…it feels comfortable and yes there is that elusive fireworks…that feeling that they are never far from your thoughts…the smile when the phone beeps cause it is most likely an sms from him.  I keep thinking that I should be alarmed about the speed of things and yet I’m not because it feels good, it feels right….and yet at times I find the fact that I’m not alarmed alarming in itself if that makes sense….who knows if these things are supposed to make sense at all right? so, because I have little choice, I am just going with the flow and letting whatever will be ….be, and hoping for the best.  He makes me laugh, he makes me smile, he can cope with me being a stirrer and he can stir back just as well…so there’s hope….

like I said…life is crazy right now….fun….but crazy!

November 16, 2011 at 11:03 pm 1 comment

I’m informed it is time for an update….

so here it is….

ok where were we…..

on fireworks….it wasn’t happening so let it go…..then a couple of weeks ago I met someone new, we chatted easily all afternoon it was comfortable….I went for a DVD night…we spent a lot of time together on the weekend…its still new but it feels good so far.

Owen and Corey had birthdays this weekend. Corey had a hungry jacks party (with about 15 kids) and Owen had a Wii party at Dads (with his 3 mates)….we have had an explosion of toys!

Looking forward to catching up with Mum and Dad on the weekend in Bendigo but lots to do before then including an assignment due in 2 weeks on my birthday….don’t want to be up all night stressed that day so must get a wriggle on with it.

so sorry it’s a brief update…but it has been (as always) hectic – looking forward to going back down to one unit again after exams in early December.

 

October 25, 2011 at 11:58 am 1 comment

a quick update…

Things are travelling along, house/yard is still a disaster but…

Uni – two new units just started (full time again for the next 13 weeks)today officially.  Intro to Psych 2 & Analysis of Variance (another stats unit).  I am actually really looking forward to them and have down the first two weeks work for psych already (they opened the units up over the weekend so I had time to get a headstart).  The first essay for psych is about online friendships so really keen to get stuck into it (the hard bit will be leaving out personal experience and only including stuff from peer reviewed papers)!  Have done my research and had a pile of articles printed and binded ready for me to start reading and highlighting and scribbling notes in the margins!

Owen – had an update with his teacher and the Austism group co-ordinator at school today. He is travelling well but we are going to look at getting him on a mental health plan. We’ve had increasing aggression at home – nothing alarming but it was suggested we get onto it a bit early as life gets harder for kids with aspergers going into the next couple of years so wouldn’t hurt to have a visit or two with a pscyhologist to help with things along the way.  His teacher is most impressed with his manners and general behaviour though so thats great.

Brett & Corey have parent teacher interviews next week.

the fireworks? well maybe there is more than first thought as an SMS brings a smile to my face….will take it slow and see how it goes but so far so good.

are you impressed…two updates in the space of a week?

August 29, 2011 at 7:07 pm 2 comments

Do we need fireworks?

it’s a question on my mind recently….It’s very early days but I’ve met a man recently and being with him is nice, its comfortable, relaxed and warm but then I come home and I think…but there is no fireworks does there need to be….is safe and warm and comfortable enough?  just a thought….early days…will see how it goes for now….but if there is anyone out there still reading this very occassional blog….what do you think?

August 25, 2011 at 12:06 pm 2 comments

updated the 50 things list

kids have been taught to play uno (over xmas forgot to tick it off) and the boys have been helping me cook – one boy at a time – for the past about 6 weeks so ticked that one off too. They have helped me to cook lasagne and pizzas, rissotto, pasta carbonara, chilli amongst other things.  In fact Owen in particular is getting quite good and really I help him a little he is doing most of it himself.

 

Still we must make an effort to get moving as I have done only 10 on the list of 50 so far and I’m getting very very close to 38 which leaves me only 12 more years for the last 40…hmm 3.3 per year…still doable if I get moving!

Jude

August 14, 2011 at 2:45 pm 1 comment

A time for change

It has been no secret that I have been struggling with depression for some time. For me one of the major issues is that I have been unable to keep up the house in a respectable state. The problem then is that I can’t have anyone over and neither can the kids and home ceases to be a place of peace and refuge when the clutter takes over.  I have been making gains with the whole depression thing. Most days I am able to make decisions like what to cook for dinner, most days I’m able to get myself out of bed without a major struggle….but still the house has made little or no progress and I am putting my foot down and deciding that it is time for a change.  I have made a decision to clean up before but sadly it always falls over after an hour or a day or two…this time I want to make sure that it doesn’t fall over.

It took a while for the house to get into it’s present state so there isn’t going to be an instant solution – it will take time.  I figured that what I really needed was a PLAN of ACTION.  So I bought a ‘to do list’ notebook (bargain $2 from woolies) and I made a list of all the things that need to be done – breaking them up into small tasks rather than ‘clean the loungeroom’ type tasks. I made a list of jobs for me and a list of jobs for the kids for each room in the house.  So over the next two weeks we are going to leave the bedrooms & playroom and we are going to focus on getting the rest of the house into a fit state.  I keep putting it off because it is too hard. But at the end of my list writing I have 1-3 jobs a day for me and the same for the kids.  So really it isn’t going to be as hard as I had thought. At the end of these two weeks the main living spaces should be tidy (not spotless perhaps but tidy) and then I’ll make a plan for the bedrooms and the playroom – whilst maintaining the living spaces!

So now I just need to stick to the plan! Putting it here is a step further in my commitment. I am making a public promise to myself to get my house in order because I think I need to!  Will try to post here more often too!

wish me luck

Jude

August 14, 2011 at 1:25 pm 1 comment

Is job satisfaction a myth?

I had a very interesting chat with my GP this morning. He commented that there appeared to be a real gender devide in the search for happiness. He said that most men go to work to earn the $ they need to do what they want to do but don’t really care about job satisfaction. He said it was women who tended to look for meaning in their work and as a result it was women who went back to study as adults (in general – obviously).  He argued for just getting a job to have the $ to do what you want….is that defeatist? Does it say that money buys happiness afterall?  I doubt that many people would continue working if they had enough money to never have to work but surely there are people out there who enjoy their job or at least get some level of emotional satisfaction from it?

June 8, 2011 at 11:55 am Leave a comment

I am still alive….

although it would appeaar that Osama bin Ladin isn’t any more…it is big news all around the world and yet I thought this quote summed up my feelings about it.

“I will mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” ~Martin Luther King Jr

and so now we move back to my own little world of reality.  I am doing better. I still have good and bad days but on the whole I am functioning so much better and very glad that I started on the meds almost a year ago now!

I am still studying – a bachelor of behavioural studies through Swinburne (via Open Universities Australia) – and I am really enjoying most of it.  I was quite surprised to find myself enjoying the statistics unit which I had been dreading so much!  I haven’t been scrapbooking much (well at all really) so I do want to get back into it again – must take more photos.

Kids are all well….I know this post hasn’t said much but you know what…I might just try to make them more often again!  Cross your fingers maybe I’ll be back again soon!

May 3, 2011 at 12:54 pm 1 comment

too hot….tell me it will be worth it!

I don’t ‘do’ heat! I also hate housework….so having to clear out all the crap we’ve been throwing into my old bedroom for months and months (ok years) in the heat of summer isn’t going down well.  I know it will be worth it in the long run….but still very much struggling with motivation….still am getting there….just need to get IN there a bit more, I do so desperately want the kids beds in their new room by Thursday so we can start school fresh on Friday (incidently whoever decided to send kids to school for the first time in the year on a Friday clearly wasn’t thinking)!

meanwhile I put new batteries in Corey’s leapster and he is happily playing that (though still tries to get his hands on a DS from his brothers often)….only thing is now I have a leapster, a DS and a playstation all going in one room (oh and me on the laptop) what would we do without our ‘screens’!

Time to put them down and do some work for half an hour I think….short stints in the heat!

January 31, 2011 at 1:27 pm 7 comments

Hi Honey I’m home….did you miss me?

am back again. I know I’ve neglected my blog terribly but perhaps it is time to come back to it.

A quick round of the end of year and xmas things first hey?

Mum and Dad kindly came down and watched the kids (got them to school and home) while I sat for my exams for Sociology and child development, I was worried about the child development unit but I did pass in the end and got a distinction for sociology.  At this stage I didn’t get an offer for OT as I had hoped but will stick happily with plan B and progress with a Bachelor of Behavioural studies through OUA (and Swinburne) with the aim of doing some community type work for the likes of the Smith Family.  Mum and Dad also took our tent up to Loxton as we were all landing on them for Xmas (well except Nathan who is in Perth) and she just didn’t have room for everyone in the house!

So we drove up to Loxton (having spent around $500 on the car to get a tyre repaired, brakes and shockers) and we had a fairly relaxing holiday (although boys were naughty and often in trouble)….we headed up to Adelaide for a few days and as we were leaving I thought it was odd that the ‘old girl’ (aka ’92 commodore) wouldn’t reverse up my lil brothers driveway…still it was a steep driveway and so I just let it go.  But then when we got back to Mum & Dads, Dad offered to reverse it in as I had left it on the street (my uncle was in the driveway as I arrived)…she wouldn’t go backwards….reverse gear gone!  Took it in to get looked at but it appeared that we were likely to hear that the transmission was shot….yup and a minimum of $1500 to fix it (with a second hand transmission)!  Eek…Merry Christmas girl!  On the up side, Mum and Dad thought it better to get me into a newer, safer, more reliable vechicle and as such did a little looking around before they came and told me what they were up to!  So two days later I was in my new vechicle (and I owe Mum and Dad lots of $).  But I am loving the new car, it’s a 2002 Ford Falcon wagon in a pretty metallic blue.  It has a roof lining that is actually attached to the roof, cup holders, functioning keyless entry, air con that blows me away, stereo & cruise control buttons on the steering wheel, electric windows…..and even a fully functional transmission…..so much that the old girl just didn’t have!  I am lucky to have such great parents!

Since getting home I have slowly been trying to get the house organised.  I have, in a sudden spurt of energy the other day, gotten all the toys out of the old play room and moved my things in (will leave paint til later for now).  I bought a cheap 2nd hand tallboy for Brett so they can have one each for their clothes so now just have to empty all the crap out of my old room (including my old 4 poster bed which I will finally sell) and then move in the other two tall boys and the beds. They are getting the big room so that we can pull the bunks down and have single beds which at the very least will be easier for me to make!

I’ve been getting better on the antidepressants, but still was really struggling with motivation.  I’ve just realised however that motivation has definetly been improving this week…lets hope I can hold onto it. I did get one room sorted. I also bought myself a little present – a wii fit balance board and wii fit plus game (kids got a wii for xmas) AND what’s more I have actually spent at LEAST 30 minutes on it every day….even the days when I had decided to just leave it and go to bed I changed my mind and did some.  I wouldn’t say I’m doing a hugely athletic work out but I am raising a sweat which can’t do me any harm and may just do me some good, who knows.

This year is the start of something different for me….my baby starts school in a weeks time. He is excited and really just can’t wait and a part of me is excited too I guess….it is a new adventure for me too.

oh and while on boys and exciting news…..Brett can officially ride on two wheels without a push start as of today!

and now thats it for now….

Jude

January 27, 2011 at 10:03 pm 1 comment

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